No Evidence

It's Friday, two days after chemotherapy and still no evidence that I'm being treated for cancer! I'm going to view this status as a blessing. One treatment down, seven more to go, and I'm winning, one for one! I'm supposed to be contacting "wig people" today. So far, I haven't been able to make myself dial the number. What's THAT about? Am I a legitimate "cancer chicken?" Will I wait until pride drives me to it? Hmmm...I did make an appointment to attend "Chemotherapy Class" now that I've actually HAD chemotherapy once. I think I must still be experiencing some serious denial regarding what I'm actually in for here. Bobbett from work, a 2-year breast cancer survivor, gave me a "Chemo Calendar". I'm supposed to draw smiley faces or frowny faces on each day. This is supposed to "map" my body's reaction to the therapy and make it easier for me to endure "bad days". I now have two smileys, with the promise of a third well under way. I wish I thought that this was the new permanent reality.Somewhere under all this denial, I think not.